I’m about to liken this recipe to a car, get ready.
So we have 2 cars, (and a truck and a jeep that gets used maybe 6 times a year but somehow gets the one coveted garage spot…don’t ask) mine, which is a Lexus suv and Ulysses’, which is a BMW 5 series. Now before you think we’re rolling in it or something, let me preface this by saying they are both 6 years old and were bought used as I absolutely refuse to ever buy a new car considering it’s probably the worst financial decision you can make in this world. Particularly, when you have a husband who can do all things car related from oil changes to rebuilding a transmission if necessary. But, I digress.
Ulysses needed to take my car with him this week because his had an issue that he wasn’t able to fix in time before leaving last Sunday. So it got fixed (thanks to another mechanically inclined friend) Wednesday night just in time for me to drive it back and forth to Connecticut for work yesterday, a 4 hour round trip.
Now let’s discuss this so called “Ultimate Driving Machine”.
I’ll start with the one and only pro I can give it, it drives amazingly. Like a race car, nice and tight (there should be a ‘that’s what HE said’ acronym because that’s pretty much the best line for it ever). But then there’s everything else about it…
To say the dashboard is complicated is like saying Bradley Cooper is good looking (sorry, I just can’t get on the Channing Tatum bus)…um, UNDERSTATEMENT. There are a million lighted symbols that apparently mean something in Germany that’s quite obviously associated with a car’s inner workings but somehow don’t quite translate to American English too well. Then there’s the display that controls EVERYTHING. They call it the iDrive. Looks like an Apple spin-off doesn’t it? You see that little lower case “i” and you’re all “oh, I can do this, must be just like my iphone”, ha. It took me 15 minutes the first time I drove the car to figure out how to turn on the radio. I gave up on trying to program a preset station after about 20 minutes. So it’s this one big dial that sits right in the console area and it’s used to control literally every single thing you would do in a car. Want to change the air flow from your feet to defrost? Oh, that’s just 157 clicks and 47 turns of the dial. Want to go change the station manually instead of listening to presets? That one’s not as bad…only 34 clicks and 7 turns. Seriously, what happened to just pressing a freakin’ button on the dash? iMyAss.
So I’m driving home today from Connecticut and not even 5 minutes after pulling out of the office parking lot, the dash blows up on me. I’ve got exclamations marks in 3 places, the display area turns half orange and there’s this loud “bling! bling! bling!” noise coming from the speakers that just about drove me off the road in terror. I look at the display and it’s all FLAT TIRE! With literally 3 paragraphs about tire pressure and driving and speeds of operation. So of course I freak because I’m just about the furthest away from home I can be at this point and thoughts of changing tires and wondering if there even IS a spare in this car start racing through my mind. But then I realize it doesn’t feel like I have a flat tire. The car is driving fine… So I continue to doggie day care to pick up Ginger which is about 5 minutes away and decide to assess the situation when I get there.
I get out of the car, look at the tires and THEY LOOK FINE. Now, I know tires can contract in the cold weather and cause monitors to go off for low pressure but it was like 55 degrees today. I had the windows open!
So I drove home for the next 2 hours with a 60 lb. hyper weimaraner in about 2 square feet of space breathing fish breath all over me in a state of panic that I was going to spontaneously lose a tire.
And that’s when I realize that this car is just too complicated for it’s own good. My car somehow manages to have pretty much every single feature of the BMW minus the sudden onset of stress and panic when you step into it. In fact, my tire pressure monitor came on a few weeks ago when it was like -10 outside and you want to know how Lexus went about notifying me of that fact?
A simple tire light in my dashboard. No bling! bling! bling! at ear piercing decibels, no orange warning signs taking up half my dash and nothing with the word “flat” in all caps terrorizing me from the screen. Lexus is all, “this is a luxury car and we’re going to keep this a luxury environment. No need for panic, it’s most likely just the cold air, but we just want to make you aware. Thank you, have a nice day”. While BMW is all, “DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! PULL OVER NOW! YOU’RE GOING TO DIE!”
This recipe is a Lexus.
Luxury in the guise of simplicity. Tastes complex, but couldn’t be easier to make. BMWs have no place in my life either in the driveway or the kitchen.
- 1 chicken breast
- salt & pepper
- 1 tablespoon coconut oil
- 1 large zucchini, peeled/spiralized (I used a julienne peeler)
- ¼ cup cilantro, chopped
- 2 tablespoons cashews, chopped
- 1 carrot, chopped
- 1 tablespoon peanut butter
- ½ lime, juiced
- ½ tablespoon honey
- 2 tablespoons coconut cream from a can
- ½ tablespoon fish sauce
- 1 teaspoon ginger, minced
- 1 clove garlic, minced
- ½ tablespoon jalapeno, minced
- Heat a skillet over medium high heat and melt coconut oil.
- Season chicken breast with salt & pepper and once hot, add to skillet.
- Cook for about 3-4 minutes per side until cooked through.
- Remove from skillet and shred, set aside.
- In a small bowl combine, peanut butter, lime juice, honey, coconut cream, fish sauce, ginger, garlic & jalapeno. Whisk together and set aside.
- Combine shredded chicken in a large bowl with peeled/spiralized zucchini, cilantro, cashews and carrots.
- Pour the sauce in the bowl and toss to combine.