I hate reading food blogs that talk about the food.
Is that weird? I like pretty food pictures and good recipes but text about the food itself is just so….boring.
For example, discussing this pizza would go something along the lines of:
“I seasoned the cauliflower with some bold spices and it baked up to a surprisingly crisp crust. Definitely not something you’re going to confuse with real pizza dough, but quite delicious as far as cauliflower goes. I kept the toppings simple making a spicy sauce from some canned diced tomatoes and red pepper flakes, crumbled some meatballs I had on hand on top and then garnished with cilantro.”
Um, I think I just put myself to sleep.
Want to know what ingredients are in a recipe? Read the ingredient list! Want to know how it comes together? Read the directions part! No need for redundant ramblings with your thesaurus in hand for synonyms of “delicious”.
I want to be entertained when I’m reading a blog. Which is why I usually ramble on over here on different tangents. Well, that and I also just like to talk a lot and since 99.9% of my friends live at least 2 hours away, I come to you, dear internet.
The problem with all that is when I don’t have some tangent to talk about (like today). Although, I have been pondering the whole process of scabs for the past 2 hours as I’m being tormented by one on my knee that is itching me TO DEATH. Why, if a scab is the body’s way of healing and protecting from infection, does it start to itch like crazy therefore causing you to inevitably rip scratch it off as soon as it gets close to healed and reset the whole damn process?
But scabs are probably a tangent most want to avoid when the subject at hand is food. So I’ll stop. But seriously, can anyone explain that?
So now you just read a post about nothing really.
Sorry about that. But the pizza crust really is kick ass. I promise.
- 1 bag frozen cauliflower (1 head of fresh cauliflower would work too, see note)
- 2 cloves garlic
- 2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
- ¼ cup nutritional yeast
- 1 egg, beaten
- ½ teaspoon herbs de provence
- ¼ cup almond flour
- ½ teaspoon red pepper flakes
- salt & pepper
- Place frozen cauliflower in a bowl with 2 tablespoons water, cover and microwave for 3 minutes (it will not be fully cooked, just thawed at this point). Remove from microwave, drain water and transfer to a food processor.
- Add the garlic cloves to the food processor as well.
- Process the cauliflower & garlic for about 15-30 seconds until it's finely chopped.
- In a skillet over med-high heat, add the olive oil. Once hot, add the chopped cauliflower and sauté for about 5 minutes until cooked through.
- Transfer cauliflower to a large bowl and add remaining ingredients. Mix well until thoroughly incorporated.
- Preheat oven to 400 degrees and line a baking sheet with parchment paper or a silpat.
- Turn out the cauliflower dough onto the baking sheet and form a ball.
- Gently press the ball of dough into a round shape until it's just less than ¼" thick.
- Bake for about 30 minutes then broil for another 3-5 minutes. Edges should be brown and crispy at this point.
- Remove from oven, top with whatever toppings you choose and return to oven to bake at 400 degrees for another 5-7 minutes.