Let’s talk about the worst Valentine’s Day candy out there. Yes, the kind that makes you question the very essence of love and sweetness. We’ve all received one of those questionable treats that leave us more puzzled than pleased. So, before you go shopping for your sweetheart, here are the ones better left on the shelf this Valentine’s Day.
Cinnamon Hearts
Cinnamon Hearts are the candy equivalent of a love that’s too intense—it starts off exciting but quickly becomes overwhelming. A few are thrilling, but eat too many and you’re left with a burning sensation that has you reaching for water instead of another kiss. They’re the spicy text that seemed like a good idea at the time but in hindsight, not so much.
Kit Kat Raspberry Cream
Kit Kat Raspberry Cream tries to put a fruity twist on a classic, but it’s like that Valentine’s date at a fancy restaurant when you both realize you would’ve been happier with pizza at home. The raspberry cream can be overpoweringly sweet, and the wafers lose their charm amidst the artificial flavor. It’s a reminder that sometimes, classics are best left alone.
Hot Lips
Hot Lips try to be the epitome of Valentine’s Day romance but end up feeling like that awkward first date—too forward and slightly uncomfortable. They’re waxy, overly sweet, and frankly, a bit too on the nose. If you’re going for memorable, you might want to kiss these goodbye.
Cordial Cherries
Cordial Cherries are like that grand romantic gesture that’s just a bit too much. The idea of a sweet cherry encased in liquid surrounded by chocolate sounds dreamy, but in reality, it’s a messy affair that leaves you sticky and slightly disappointed. It’s the thought that counts, but maybe next time, stick with something less explosive.
Chocolate Sampler Box
While it might seem like a safe bet, the Chocolate Sampler Box is essentially the dating app of candies—full of options, but you have to go through a lot of not-so-great ones to find the few you actually like. And let’s not start on the guide maps that never seem to match up. It’s a journey of discovery that often leads to the realization that maybe, just maybe, simplicity is underrated.
Jellybeans
Jellybeans are a rainbow of flavors, but let’s face it, they’re a bit like playing Russian roulette with your taste buds—some are delightful, while others leave you regretting your life choices. They’re more Easter’s alley, and on Valentine’s, they feel a tad out of place. Plus, finding the ones you actually like is a reminder of why online dating can be so hit or miss.
Cupid Corn
Cupid Corn is the Valentine’s version of Candy Corn, and let’s be real, it wasn’t even a hit at Halloween. It’s that candy that’s always left at the bottom of the bowl, wondering why it wasn’t good enough for February. Sweet, sure, but also kind of bland and waxy—like getting a Valentine from someone who clearly forgot until the last minute.
Conversation Hearts
These little hearts are like the text messages you wish you hadn’t sent—short, sometimes sweet, but often just awkward. While they’re iconic, let’s be honest: they’re basically flavored chalk. Their messages might be cute, but after a few, you’re left wondering if there’s a better way to say “Be Mine” that doesn’t involve a sugar crash.
Pink Peeps
Pink Peeps are like that overly enthusiastic date who just doesn’t get the hint. They’re sugary, spongy, and a bit too much. Initially, they seem fun, but soon you realize you’re in for a sticky situation that’s hard to get out of. Best to leave these for the birds.
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Gina Matsoukas is an AP syndicated writer. She is the founder, photographer and recipe developer of Running to the Kitchen — a food website focused on providing healthy, wholesome recipes using fresh and seasonal ingredients. Her work has been featured in numerous media outlets both digital and print, including MSN, Huffington post, Buzzfeed, Women’s Health and Food Network.
