Valentine’s Day candy is supposed to be a treat, but some of it feels more like a bad joke. Too sweet, too artificial, or just plain questionable, these are the so-called “festive” candies that somehow keep showing up every year despite no one really liking them. Before you grab a last-minute heart-shaped box or a bag of something pink, take a second to reconsider. Some candies are better left on the shelf, unless your goal is to ruin someone’s holiday.
Cinnamon Hearts
Cinnamon Hearts are the candy equivalent of a love that’s too intense—it starts off exciting but quickly becomes overwhelming. A few are thrilling, but eat too many and you’re left with a burning sensation that has you reaching for water instead of another kiss.
Kit Kat Raspberry Cream
Kit Kat Raspberry Cream tries to put a fruity twist on a classic, but it’s like that Valentine’s date at a fancy restaurant when you both realize you would’ve been happier with pizza at home. The raspberry cream can be overpoweringly sweet, and the wafers lose their charm amidst the artificial flavor.
Hot Lips
Hot Lips try to be the epitome of Valentine’s Day romance but end up feeling like that awkward first date—too forward and slightly uncomfortable. They’re waxy, overly sweet, and frankly, a bit too on the nose. If you’re going for memorable, you might want to kiss these goodbye.
Cordial Cherries
The idea of a sweet cherry encased in liquid surrounded by chocolate sounds dreamy, but in reality, it’s a messy affair that leaves you sticky and slightly disappointed. It’s the thought that counts, but maybe next time, stick with something less explosive.
Chocolate Sampler Box
While it might seem like a safe bet, the Chocolate Sampler Box is essentially the dating app of candies—full of options, but you have to go through a lot of not-so-great ones to find the few you actually like. And let’s not start on the guide maps that never seem to match up.
Jellybeans
Jellybeans are a rainbow of flavors, but they’re a bit like playing Russian roulette with your taste buds—some are delightful, while others leave you regretting your life choices. They’re more Easter’s alley, and on Valentine’s, they feel a tad out of place.
Cupid Corn
Cupid Corn is the Valentine’s version of Candy Corn, and let’s be real, it wasn’t even a hit at Halloween. It’s that candy that’s always left at the bottom of the bowl. Sweet, sure, but also kind of bland and waxy.
Conversation Hearts
These little hearts are like the text messages you wish you hadn’t sent—short, sometimes sweet, but often just awkward. While they’re iconic, they’re basically flavored chalk. Their messages might be cute, but that’s about it.
Pink Peeps
Pink Peeps are sugary, spongy, and a bit too much. Initially, they seem fun, but soon you realize you’re in for a sticky situation that’s hard to get out of. Best to leave these for the birds.
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Gina Matsoukas is an AP syndicated writer. She is the founder, photographer and recipe developer of Running to the Kitchen — a food website focused on providing healthy, wholesome recipes using fresh and seasonal ingredients. Her work has been featured in numerous media outlets both digital and print, including MSN, Huffington post, Buzzfeed, Women’s Health and Food Network.
